Parents can help
Teen-agers and stress

by Bruce M. James, Ed.S., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Bridges Treatment Center

Everyone experiences stress—it's simply a fact of life. Stress is the body's natural reaction to tension, pressure and change. Although most people view stress as being harmful, a small amount of stress for a short period of time can actually increase motivation, task completion and improve performance. However, prolonged stress may eventually lead to serious health problems or even injuries.

Teen-agers, like adults, experience stress on a daily basis and will benefit from learning stress management skills. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) notes that most teens experience more stress when they do not have the resources to cope with a situation that is perceived as difficult, painful or dangerous. (See sources of stress for teen-agers at right.)

How parents can help

It is important for parents to realize they have the power to help their teen-age son or daughter. Parents can provide support, encouragement and guidance, including:

Daily interactions, such as eating meals together

Supporting teen-ager's strengths and positive qualities instead of focusing on their deficits

Supporting the teen's projects and hobbies

Monitoring teens to see if stress is affecting their health, behavior, thoughts or feelings

Learning, modeling stress management skills

Supporting involvement in sports and other social activities.

What teens can do

Areas in which teens can provide themselves with coping resources during times of stress are:

Exercise and eat regularly. Avoid excess caffeine.

Avoid illegal drugs, alcohol and tobacco.

Learn relaxation exercises.

Develop and use assertiveness skills, and talk openly about feelings.

Learn practical coping skills. For example, break a large task into smaller, more attainable tasks.

Use positive instead of negative self talk. "I can't do it" can be transformed into "I can try."

Learn to accept something less than perfect. "I'm good enough."

Let yourself cry.

Take a break from stressful situations. Listen to music, talk to a friend, draw, write, spend time with a pet, watch a movie, work on an enjoyable hobby or project.

Slow down.

Play, laugh and have fun.
These are a few ways in which parents can support and empower their teen-agers to develop the lifetime skills needed to manage stress. If a teen-ager exhibits signs of being overly stressed, parents should seek help from their family physician or qualified mental health professional.

Resource: American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry